Injury, mindset and resilience in the face of adversity
Below is an extract from a book that I was kindly asked to contribute towards.
Intro:
My name is Justin Davis, I’m 31, and a positive, hard-working, passionate, driven and completely motivated individual. I enjoy seeing others work hard, push their personal boundaries, succeed and grow through the process. But, it didn’t come in a completely natural way to me. I have had and continue to fight for the privilege. Physically and mentally, on a daily basis. I was born and raised in a small town in the very South-East of the Cotswolds, England. The UK. Looking back, an absolutely beautiful location to enjoy the freedom that any young child should be able to do so. Climbing trees, making dens, and playing soldiers in the fields was a favourite past-time. I used to borrow my dad’s tools and head out into the fields to saw and chop-up wood to construct my latest hiding place/observation post. Looking back, I was always destined to be a soldier. It was my calling. My mother told me that anytime I needed a new set of trousers or trainers it would be army fatigues and black combat boots, instead. I fondly look back and now realise just how simple and easy life was compared to this very moment, I write this. I never thought that some 20-25 years later I’d have been to the places and done some of the things that I have done. Nor could I imagine my life to be so different due to my actions on one day in my early 20’s and I now sit here and wonder what life might be like in a further 25 years. I’m fully aware that plenty of challenge awaits me but it's nothing that hard work and commitment won’t fix.
December 15th 2011
Tasking: Quick Reaction Force. I’m point-man of a patrol that was tasked to close with, cut off and engage a group of enemy Taliban fighters who had ambushed another group of British soldiers within our Area of Operation, my primary role was as a search team member. I was to guide our callsign safely to the location of the enemy, searching the ground for hidden improvised explosive devices as we patrolled, observing the ground in front of my feet and beyond for any signs of disturbance that could be suspected of containing hidden explosives - all while utilising every piece of equipment and human sense possible. Crossing open ground, through tree lines, between compounds with high, hard-compacted mud walls and over or through irrigation ditches filled with water.
The day had already begun with a fluster of activity. A large explosion in the distance followed by the sounds of gunfire. It came over the radio that one of our senior commanders from a sister platoon; A Platoon Sarjeant had been severely injured by a projectile fired from a directionally fired improvised explosive device (DFCIED) the piece of shrapnel, likely to be a nut or bolt, bullet or random fragment of metal - entering and exiting his lower leg causing significant damage. The device was simple, hastily assembled, and was constructed from only a very few basic components: a metal drainpipe about 4-6 inches in diameter that was packed with shrapnel and explosive material then laid in a favourable position to cause the most damage. The device would be initiated by a single wire connected to a small power source. It was as simple as that. A range of emotions instantly arose - Shock, fear, anxiety and excitement, all within milliseconds of each other. The senior commander was a man whom many respected, a small and slight figure in stature but the complete opposite in tenacious attitude towards fulfilling his role as a senior non-commissioned officer. His fight was over. He was extracted back to the UK where he would then go on to make a full recovery. With another 4 months of our tour left to complete, I had no idea that I would be seeing him again, so soon.
"Circumstance does not make the man;
it reveals him to himself.”
James Allan
There is smoke all around, I am alone in the checkpoint super-sangar. A bright flash followed by debris and smoke closely rushed past my face in an upward vertical motion. A constant overpoweringly loud and metallic high pitched ringing is in my ears, my mouth is moving but no sound is coming out, the smell of burning flesh, fertiliser and the distinct metallic iron scent of fresh blood is in the air, my nostrils and mouth have been force-fed and lined with dry dirt, debris and secondary fragmentation from the explosion. My helmet chin strap is inside my mouth and being forced down my throat, in a full state of panic I pull at it and begin to cough and choke violently, my personal weapon ripped from my grasp and violently flung out of sight. The metal detector in my right hand evaporated before my eyes like the special effects you expect to see in a five-star blockbuster movie screening. My eyelids now flickering, I pulled harder and harder until I choked even more. My vision was blurry and all my senses were in shock. In an attempt to escape my impending fate I notice all movement is restricted by an unseen force. Then, I wake up.
I noticed that my feet felt strange and there was nothing but what felt like a powerful electrical current running through them. I can only describe it as extreme pins and needles. With my left hand, I lifted the thin white bedsheet that was covering the lower part of my body and I was presented with what can only be described as an utterly heart-wrenching horrendous sight. This was not a dream. Seeing the absence of both of my legs for the first time, I have never been so genuinely surprised and astonished in my entire life. For that split second, I felt every single possible human emotion.
A quick visual check over my body to scan for any further injury; first an oxygen mask over my face, a medical intravenous line in every remaining limb providing essential life-saving support; drains in both of the stumps to remove any fluid build-up, reduce swelling and take away any foreign bacteria and dirt; a feeding tube up my nostrils, down my throat and into my stomach. Intravenous drips in my forearm and neck. A catheter in my penis. An epidural in my spine. My right arm is contained inside a pressure bandage to keep my forearm together whilst it healed from the injuries it sustained, during the blast. It was hell on earth. So much pain, discomfort and uncertainty. So many fluids are being pumped into my system. I was a mess. Take me back to Afghanistan, throw me into a field or irrigation ditch laden with IED’s, I’ll be happy to take the chance and spin the wheel of Afghan roulette, once again. Anything, but this.
It later transpired that en-route to the ambushing site I had missed a device with my search equipment, stood on it, and in doing so, initiated an explosion under my right foot that ultimately resulted in a life-changing injury. Both of my legs were amputated through the knee. I was devastated. Truly heartbroken. Life as I knew it, was over. But, I must fight on. This is truly where the “Circumstance revealed the man.”
It has taken extreme effort to maintain and fight this injury for the last 8 years. I have suffered both physically and mentally the hardships of becoming “Disabled". It is simply all-encompassing. Every single step I take, every time I stand up, sit down. Every prosthetic appointment I attend, I am aware that I am different. As the years have passed, and with multiple further surgeries to recover from, I have had to put my life on hold and focus all my attention on my recovery - never really having a chance to progress. But, looking back, each one has been a blessing in disguise as it has incrementally instilled mental resilience of the highest order, and thus enables me to push harder in my everyday existence and pursue the challenges I desire.
I now accept that I have been set on a completely different pathway - one of learning, adapting, discovering, enlightening, sharing and challenging. I now aim to continually push my personal and physical limits to summit the highest peaks in the world, and in doing so, raise awareness for the disabled and less fortunate in the world. I will turn what seems like a wholly negative experience into something much more powerful. All for the greater good. It’s now my purpose in life.
At the time of writing, I am currently in training for a summit attempt of Mt. Blanc. Hopefully, when reading this, you will find that it was successful and I will then be hunting the next challenge!